There is no love but habits

Publié le par MAW

"A habit is a compromise between the individual and his environment, the lightning-conductor of his existence."

Breathing is habit. Life is habit. Or rather life is a succession of habits, since the individual is a succession of individuals. (If we consider death, birth and rebirth.)

A habit is an activity that is acquired, done frequently, done automatically, and difficult to stop. 

We get up in the morning and use habits to get ready to start the day. Otherwise, we would have to relearn everything we do – combing our hair, brushing our teeth, dressing or pouring a glass of milk.

Thoughts can also become habits. Sometimes our habitual thinking can keep habitual behaviors going and make them hard to change.

But does this mean that there is no love but only habits, as Proust would say?

Habit is the generic term for the countless treaties concluded between the individual and their beloved. 

The exhortation to cultivate love includes that passion must be continually renewed and brought up to date. 

Yet we do not relearn everyday, who is our partner, what he/ she likes. Because we do know it already. We love their smell, their mimics, the way they do things…and we miss all those habits when we are separated. But do we really love them.

Because our pernicious devotion to our partner habits paralyses our attention...with a heavy heart, I must concede that Love is the national anthem of habits. 

And those consecutive repetitions of this presumed feeling of love can one day become the boredom of loving. Surely habits can become boring, and boredom can become habits.  

No matter how the individual define it or feel it, love is the eternal truth in the history of mankind. Love is made of habits that bond people and connect them in a unified link of trust, intimacy and interdependence. It enhances the relationship and comforts the soul. 

However, creativity or imagination can fight boring habits in a relationship. Just like the creation of the World, Love did not take place once and for all time, but takes place every day. Thus Love can be created everyday. And creating each day a new for and with our beloved is possible. 

We just need to focus on the goodness of the other person.

Publié dans The friday chronicle

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